The Past and Future Rogue
by DeadSparrow
Summary: Rogue accidentally absorbs Logan in a danger room sessions, and gains his memories from Days of Future Past. Not gonna lie, it'll be mostly Rogue and Wolverine stuff in the beginning, but nothing romantic. I'd like to make it a romy story in the future, but I'm not sure if it'll go in that direction yet.
1. Chapter 1

Rogue accidentally absorbs Logan during a danger room session and gains his memories from days of future past. She learns not just of the horror that happened to the world, but also of the fate she herself met.

"Cannonball, watch your rear!" Logan charged at Sam Guthrie, aka; Cannonball. His intent wasn't too attack but to knock him out of the way before a simulated sentinel crushed him beneath his boot.

The two men landed a few feet away, with Logan firmly on top of him, but the weight didn't last for long. Logan was up again, pulling Sam up by his shoulders with him. "Use your fucking powers kid!" He growled.

Sam looked embarrassed, "I was gonna, but then you tackled me!"

Rogue allowed herself only a few seconds to internally laugh at his hurt pride, but then it was back to business. The danger room sessions were completely safe. Every now and then someone got a few scrapes or twisted something, but fatalities were never a possibility. However Rogue had come to treat danger room sessions as very serious business. This was a result of Mystique's training. She never allowed Rogue or any of her pupils to take danger room sessions lightly, and so now Rogue, a teacher in her own right was the same way with her own "students."

Even if the newer kids reactions to the simulations did make her laugh sometimes.

The sound of twisting gears alerted Rogue to the sentinel nearest to her. It was taking aim at Pixie, the student Rogue was supposed to be shadowing for her first session. "get it away from me!" Pixie screamed. Pixie's wings tried to carry her out of reach from the sentinel, but as soon as she was high the sentinel also started flying.

"shit," Rogue made a beeline for Sam, tearing her glove off as she went. "Sorry, Cannonball, I need your power." She thrust her hand onto his face, but only for a few seconds. She just needed his power, not to render him unconscious. Seconds later her body was up in the air, slamming into the sentinel at a break neck speed. The force of the impact tore through the machine's chest, metal and gears went flying everywhere.

_Now that's how you use your mutation, Cannonball_, she thought smugly to herself. As if on cue, Cannonball's voice filled her ears, "Look out Rogue!"

Rogue went from being high in the air to smashed into the group by Wolverine, who had just gotten flung across the room. The impact hurt, but that wasn't what really hit Rogue. Logan's skin had made contact with her own. It was different than with Sam. She'd gotten away with only pulling a few insignificant but recent memories. With Logan everything came rushing in. She had absorbed his memories before. Logan had never had an easy life, he'd been in wars. She had seen that. But none of it was compared to this.

Rogue screamed.

AN: Okay guys, I hope you'll be patient with me. Sorry if this isn't a great start, I'm horrible at writing action scenes. It's also been a very very long time since I've written fanfiction so I am a little rusty. (not that I was super good at it in the first place) I just saw days of future past and had this idea. Anyway, if you're a romy shipper than good news for you. I'd really like to get Gambit in here eventually because they are my favorite x couple, but it might take a few chapters because I want to deal with Rogue sorting through Wolverine's memories first.


	2. The Great Trauma of Wolverine

Rogue could feel her skin being peeled away from her body. A telekinetic force hit her full on, ripping off the top half of her uniform and most of her torso and her face felt as if it were being burned away. She worried briefly that it would tear away faster than her mutation could heal, but this concern was only secondary to reaching _her._ She stood on a mountain of debris, fire raging behind her, illuminating her features. She looked like a goddess; a terrible vengeful goddess. Still, Rogue persevered. She was all that mattered. Jean could tear away at her till there was nothing left but bones, but she'd still fight to get to her. Nothing else was important, not the destruction happening around her, not the mutants and soldiers, just Jean.

As she finally managed to get closer another layer of skin was ripped from her face. A painful moan escaped her lips. Jean's expression was one of arrogance and anger, but she wasn't deterred. She would save Jean.

"You would die for them?" Jean accused.

"No," she was shocked that's why Jean thought she was here. Didn't she know? "Not for them." It was only ever her. "For you." Something in Jean's face changed. The hard demeanor of the phoenix softened. "For you." She repeated it once more, trying to emphasize all the feelings behind it.

And then she was no longer looking at Phoenix. Finally she was looking at Jean. The anger was gone, replaced by remorse and horror from what she had done, and a heartbreaking helplessness to change it.

Her chest tightened, and she stopped breathing. Rogue finally knew what she was going to do, what she always had to do. It was the only way.

Her fists clenched.

"I love you."

_Snickt_

Xxx

Rogue had never known despair to this multitude. It was overwhelming. There was nothing she could do to stop the tears from streaming down her face, or the massive guilt that crushed her chest. All she could do was curl into a ball on the med bay bed, and wait for it to stop. There wasn't even room for confusion over Logan's double memories. The grief took up every inch of space in her soul. She had seen the memories that came after, but even when Logan was fighting very real, not simulated sentinels for his survival, Jean's death was a constant presence in his mind. He never got over it. He just learned to live with it.

"I don't it," Logan's voice. She hadn't even realized there were other people in the room. "She's absorbed my memories before. They never did this to her."

"You only had one set of memories before," Professor X. His voice was much closer than Logan's. He was right next to her. "And this Rogue has never absorbed your memories of Jean's death. I've looked into your mind Logan, none of the wars you've been through ever haunted you the way Jean did."

"Shit, Jean, is she-"

"She's not here," the Professor assured him. "She'll be at a medical conference for the next two days."

Rogue heard Logan let out a sigh of relief. "She doesn't know-" He didn't have to finish. Somehow the professor and Logan kept Logan's other reality a secret from everyone, including Jean, whose telepathy was starting to develop almost as strongly as the Professor's.

_Rogue,_ Professor X's voice was inside her head. _Can you hear me now?_ She could, but her thoughts couldn't form coherent words yet. At least not anything that wasn't Jean's name. _I need you to concentrate on my voice, Rogue. Remember these are not your memories. I want you to go into your mind, find a memory of your own. A past event that you, Rogue lived through, not Logan._

She wanted to, so much. She wanted to find something happy. She knew she had happy memories, but she couldn't recall anything past killing Jean.

_Then I will help you,_ Xavier assured her. _Keep your mind open, let me in. Together we will steer you away from Logan's memories, and bring you back to Rogue._

She could feel the Professor fully merging with her mind. It was disconcerting, having someone else in there, but nearly as unpleasant as having Logan in there. Together she and Xavier were able to bring up a memory that was _her's_, not Logan's.

The battlefield of Alcatraz faded away, replaced by the warm halls of the institute, but Rogue was not a mentor in this memory. She was a teenager again. But instead of feeling warm and safe in her own memory, she felt hurt, betrayed and scared.

"Rogue!" A voice called her from down the hall.

It was just then that she realized she was dressed in her green trench coat. She rarely wore her coat at the institute. Everyone knew about her powers and gave her the space she needed. The institute always gave her the freedom to dress more comfortably. Rogue only kept this much skin covered when she was leaving the property. She looked down. In her hand was a suitcase.

She knew what this was. The cure. She was leaving to get the cure. The person calling her must be Logan. She remembered now, but he didn't stop her. He didn't try and convince her not to go. He let her go.

_No Rogue. That is Logan's memory. Turn around._

She did. Jean? But Jean wasn't supposed to be there. Jean was with Magneto. She was Phoenix now.

_That was Logan's Jean_, Xavier reminded her. _This is our Jean. She never left us._

"Are you leaving?" She had caught up with Rogue now, her tone held concern.

"Yes," Rogue said, a little uncertainly. She wasn't sure if it was because how she had sounded the first time this happened, or because she was so taken aback by the difference between this Jean, and the woman who caused so much death and destruction at Alcatraz.

"It's the cure isn't it," Jean said. "You're leaving for the cure."

Rogue turned her head to avoid her gaze. "I have to."

"No, this isn't what you have to do, it's something you think you need to do," her hand touched Rogue's shoulder and squeezed it gently. "But it's not something you want."

Rogue gave her a sharp look. "Of course it is! Do you think I'd risk not being able to come back here if I didn't want this more than anything?"

Jean looked surprised. "You think we wouldn't welcome you back if you took the cure?"

"Maybe," she felt embarrassed admitting it now. Of course _Jean_ of all people wouldn't turn her away, or the professor, but that didn't mean other students and other teachers wouldn't treat her like a pariah or a traitor. "I don't know. . .it doesn't matter anyway. It's my choice."

Jean's eyes met her's. She looked like she was searching for something. Maybe she was reading her mind. "But why, Rogue? Why make _this_ choice? You can't undo this. If you choose this, you lose a vital part of who you are."

"Maybe I don't like who I am," she admitted.

"What's wrong with who you are?"

Oh, where to start? "I feel insecure all the time. I feel like any minute now, Bobby is gonna dump me for someone he can touch, like Kitty. And who would blame him? Every day I'm waiting for that shoe to drop. Every day I wonder if I'm going to hurt someone!"

Jean gazed at her sympathetically. "Everyone has insecurities about their powers Rogue, even me. Hell, even the Professor was like you at one point, but he learned to control his gift. I don't know if that is a possibility for you, but neither would I count it out just yet, but you have to give yourself a chance before you do something that you can't take back."

Rogue stared down at her feet. Damnit, if only she'd run into Logan. Jean always had a way of talking sense into her. Logan would have just trusted her to "follow her instincts."

"Come on," Jean said. "Let's take your suitcase back to your room and grab something to eat. We'll talk about your issues, and if you still want to go tomorrow, then I'll drive you myself, but for now, just sit on it."

Rogue sighed. "Alright. Let's go."

_Good Rogue,_ the professor was speaking into her mind again. _How do you feel?_

The memory of the hall, and Jean's face began to fade away. _Better. Calmer. I think I'm ready to wake up now._

And with that, Rogue's eyes opened. The first thing she saw was the professor, smiling at her. "Welcome back. We were worried."

We? Oh shit, Logan. Logan was leaning against another bed. When he saw her with her eyes opened he looked relieved, but there was also guilt underneath his eyes. "You okay kid?"

She nodded. "That was intense."

"Yeah," he agreed. "Try living through it."

"I did, through you."

He winced. "Sorry. . .I-"

"Logan this is not your fault," Xavier cut in. "I should have known something like this would happen, and that your memories would overwhelm her should she absorb you."

"Why didn't you tell me?" Rogue asked, a little hurt.

Logan hesitated, "Don't you know?"

Oh right. It didn't seem as big of a deal compared to the trauma of Jean's death. It overshadowed every event that happened in Logan's life, but Rogue was still able to recall it; the memory Logan was ashamed of.

"I died," she said. "And it was your fault."


End file.
